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Probably, there are as many reasons not to hire a professional cleaning service as there are to do so. Factors like expense, outsiders coming to your place, and safety are some of the major reasons why people do not hire a maid service. But definitely, there are advantages as well, which may include finding spare time to spend with family while having a clean and healthy environment to live. Come; let's look at some more advantages and disadvantages of professional house cleaning services. Advantages of professional house cleaning services Of course, the foremost advantage of hiring a professional house cleaning service is that you do not have to do the cleaning yourself. Generally, people choose this service because of lack of time to do a thorough house cleaning, which is usually performed after one or two months rather than on a daily basis. The reason behind the same is that it is really simple to employ someone to clean your home, which saves you time. An already clean house is quite easy to maintain. Also, a professional would pay complete attention to cleaning your home and would hardly ever get careless while doing so. Professional cleaners keep themselves up to date with all the advanced cleaning techniques and products. Consistent home cleaning ensures that the home remains well-maintained and organized for years. Besides, the use of environment-friendly cleaning products further boosts the look and feel of the home. Disadvantages of house cleaning services Hiring a professional house cleaning company often costs a huge amount of money and is considered as an additional expense every month. Your house cleaning moves around your housemaid I.e. you have to depend on her for anything related to cleaning. But, you may end up feeling like you no longer know anything related to your home. You may realize that your privacy is being impeded when cleaning maids are around, and possibly, you may need to deliberately keep Tag and title in Silver Spring MD 20910 a check on your acts and words when your maid is around. You may even face some safety concerns when any outsider enters your place. Though, cleaning companies ensure their maids for reliability, cases of robbery still occur at clients' places. There are two facets of almost everything in this world. And the most important thing is that you cannot only heed the downbeat side of a particular thing. You need to consider the sanguine phase too, and that is what will let you move forward at every stage of life. Thus, here in this case also, mull over both the advantages and disadvantages and then decide on if Professional Landscaping Service in Conyers GA you want to hire a professional house cleaner for your home or not. After a long tiresome day at work, nobody wants to clean their kitchen and toilets. In this situation, we all want a helping hand. In other words, you can look for a local house cleaner to do all the cleaning for you. This will help you save a lot of time that you can spend taking some rest. In this article, we have shared some tips that will help you hire the best cleaning Affordable Janitorial Service In Indianapolis IN service. Read on to find out more. 1. Find out about their experience If you are going to hire a house cleaner for the first time, we suggest that you consider their experience first. Since they will be spending plenty of time inside Best Roadside Assistance In Fayette, Mississippi your house, Affordable Bookkeeping in Las Vegas NV make sure you look for a trustworthy and reliable professional. Besides, you also need to find out about their working schedule. After all, you don't want them to show up when you are having dinner with your family members. 2. Get Referrals You may also ask your coworkers, neighbors, family, and friends for some recommendations. Similarly, some online resources may also help you check out reviews on a number of service providers. We suggest that you interview at least 3 to 5 cleaning service providers. This will give you a pretty good idea of which service provider you should go with. 3. Interview the Service provider Don't forget to have a detailed discussion with your favorite service provider. If you are going to hire a professional through a reputable company, we suggest that you discuss this matter with their representatives. You should ask several questions before signing a contract. Given below are some of the major questions you must ask: How much experience do they have in this department? Who is going to handle the cleaning supplies? What type of supplies will they use? Do they offer a guarantee on their services? Do they have an insurance policy? How much do they charge for their services? Do they charge by the hour or have a fixed price? Can they offer references to their previous clients? 4. Do a Background Check You may want to do a background check on your desired service provider. Did you find out if the cleaners are responsible and trustworthy? If you are going to work with the company, do your homework to make sure that the company performs background checks before hiring new employees. In the case of commercial cleaners, you may want to ask them to produce their license. In most cases, residential cleaners are not required to have a specific license to offer their services. 5. Define Your Agreement After you have hired a service provider, you may want to define the agreement. This document will provide details about their services, cost, number of rooms, items, and floors they will clean. Make sure that the agreement provides even tiny details. The idea is to make sure that you don't have a dispute with the service provider once the job is done. Long story short, we suggest that you try these steps if you want to hire the best house cleaner to cover your needs. Probably, there are as many reasons not to hire a professional cleaning service as there are to do so. Factors like expense, outsiders coming to your place, and safety are some of the major reasons why people do not hire a maid service. But definitely, there are advantages as well, which may include finding spare time to spend with family while having a clean and healthy environment to live. Come; let's look at some more advantages and disadvantages of professional house cleaning services. Advantages of professional house cleaning services Of course, the foremost advantage of hiring a professional house cleaning service is that you do not have to do the cleaning yourself. Generally, people choose this service because of lack of time to do a thorough house cleaning, which is usually performed after one or two months Affordable Lawn Services in New Albany IN rather than on a daily basis. The reason behind the same is that it is really simple to employ someone to clean your home, which saves you time. An already clean house is quite easy to maintain. Also, a professional would pay complete attention to cleaning your home and would hardly ever get careless while doing so. Professional cleaners keep themselves up to date with all the advanced Make money Referring Others in Jackson NJ 08527 cleaning techniques and products. Consistent home cleaning ensures that the home remains well-maintained and organized for years. Besides, the use of environment-friendly cleaning products further boosts the look and feel of the home. Disadvantages of house cleaning services Hiring a professional house cleaning company often costs a huge amount of money and is considered as an additional expense every month. Your house cleaning moves around your housemaid I.e. you have to depend on her for anything related to cleaning. But, you may end up feeling like you no longer know anything related to your home. You may realize that your privacy is being impeded when cleaning maids are around, and possibly, you may need to deliberately keep a check on your acts and words when your maid is around. You may even face some safety concerns when any outsider enters your place. Though, cleaning companies ensure their maids for reliability, cases of robbery still occur at clients' places. There are two facets of almost everything in this world. And the most important thing is that you cannot only heed the downbeat side of a particular thing. You need to consider the sanguine phase too, and that is what will let you move forward at every stage of life. Thus, here in this case also, mull over both the advantages and disadvantages and then decide on if you want to hire a professional house cleaner for your home or not. After a long tiresome day at work, nobody wants to clean their kitchen and toilets. In this situation, we all want a helping hand. In other words, you can look for a local house cleaner to do all the cleaning for you. This will help you save a lot of time that you can spend taking some rest. In this article, we have shared some tips that will help you hire the best cleaning service. Read on to find out more. 1. Find out about their experience If you are Affordable Painting Contractor In Dayton OH going to hire a house cleaner for the first time, we suggest that you consider their experience first. Since they will be spending plenty of time inside your house, make sure you look for a trustworthy and reliable professional. Besides, you also Reliable Veterans Home Living In Inland Empire CA need to find out about their working schedule. After all, you don't want them to show up when you are having dinner with your family members. 2. Get Referrals You may also ask your coworkers, neighbors, family, and friends for some recommendations. Similarly, some online resources may also help you check out reviews on a number of service providers. We suggest that you interview at least 3 to 5 cleaning service providers. This will give you a pretty good idea of which service provider you should go with. 3. Interview the Service provider Don't forget to have a detailed discussion with your favorite service provider. If you are going to hire a professional through a reputable company, we suggest that you discuss this matter with their representatives. You should ask several questions before signing a contract. Given below are some of the major questions you must ask: How much experience do they have in this department? Who is going to handle the cleaning supplies? What type of supplies will they use? Do they offer a guarantee on their services? Do they have an insurance policy? How much do they charge for their services? Do they charge by the hour or have a fixed price? Can they offer references to their previous clients? 4. Do a Background Check You may want to do a background check on your desired service provider. Did you find out if the cleaners are responsible and trustworthy? If you are going to work with the company, do your homework to make sure that the company performs background checks before hiring new employees. In the case of commercial cleaners, you may want to ask them to produce their license. In most cases, residential cleaners are not required to have a specific license to offer their services. 5. Define Your Agreement After you have hired a service provider, you may want to define the agreement. This document will provide details about their services, cost, number of rooms, items, and floors they will clean. Make sure that the agreement provides even tiny details. The idea is to make sure that you don't have Affordable Home Care Service In The Greater Los Angeles Area a dispute with the service provider once the job is done. Long story short, we suggest that you try these steps if you want to hire the best house cleaner to cover your needs. Probably, there are as many reasons not to hire a professional cleaning service as there are to do so. Factors like expense, outsiders coming to your place, and safety are some of the major reasons why people do not hire a maid service. But definitely, there are advantages as well, which may https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/?search=Handyman Service include finding spare time to spend with family while having a clean and Professional Car Detailing Service In Hyde Park NY healthy environment to live. Come; let's look at some more advantages and disadvantages of professional house cleaning services. Advantages of professional house cleaning services Of course, the foremost advantage of hiring a professional house cleaning service is that you do not have to do the cleaning yourself. Generally, people choose this service because of lack of time to do a thorough house cleaning, which is usually performed after one or two months rather than on a daily basis. The reason behind the same is that it is really simple to employ someone to clean your home, which saves you time. An already clean house is quite easy to maintain. Also, a professional would pay complete attention to cleaning your home and would hardly ever get careless while doing so. Professional cleaners keep themselves up Affordable Machine Installation in Dunnellon FL to date with all the advanced cleaning techniques and products. Consistent home cleaning ensures that the home remains well-maintained and organized for years. Besides, the use of environment-friendly cleaning products further boosts the look and feel of the home. Disadvantages of house cleaning services Hiring a professional house cleaning company often costs a huge amount of money and is considered as an additional expense every month. Your house cleaning moves around your housemaid I.e. you have to depend on her for anything related to cleaning. But, you may end up feeling like you no longer know anything related to your home. You may realize that your privacy is being impeded when cleaning maids are around, and possibly, you may need to deliberately keep a check on your acts and words when your maid is around. You may even face some safety concerns when any outsider enters your place. Though, cleaning companies ensure their maids for reliability, cases of robbery still occur at clients' places. There are two facets of almost everything in this world. And the most important thing is that you cannot only heed the downbeat side of a particular thing. You need to consider the sanguine phase too, and welding shop near me Hagerstown MD that is what will let you move forward at every stage of life. Thus, here in this case also, mull over both the advantages and disadvantages and then decide on if you want to hire a professional house cleaner for your home or Affordable Roofing Contractor in Quinby SC not. After a long tiresome day at work, nobody wants to clean their kitchen and toilets. In this situation, we all want a helping hand. In other words, you can look for a local house cleaner to do all the cleaning for you. This will help you save a lot of time that you can spend taking some rest. In this article, we have shared some tips that will help you hire the best cleaning service. Read on to find out more. 1. Find out about their experience If you Professional Pressure Washing in Ferriday LA are going to hire a house cleaner for the first time, we suggest that you consider their experience first. Since they will be spending plenty of time inside your house, make sure you look for a trustworthy and reliable professional. Besides, you also need to find out about their working schedule. After all, you don't want them to show up when you are having dinner with your family members. 2. Get Referrals You may also ask your coworkers, neighbors, family, and friends for some recommendations. Similarly, some online resources may also help you check out reviews on a number of service providers. We suggest that you interview at least 3 to 5 cleaning service providers. This will give you a pretty good idea of which service provider you should go with. 3. Interview the Service provider Don't forget to have a detailed discussion with your favorite service provider. If you are going to hire a professional through a reputable company, we suggest that you discuss this matter with their representatives. You should ask several questions before signing a contract. Given below are some of the major questions you must ask: How much experience do they have in this department? Who is going to handle the cleaning supplies? What type of supplies will they use? Do they offer a guarantee on their services? Do they have an insurance policy? How much do they charge for their services? Do they charge by the hour or have a fixed price? Can they offer references to their previous clients? 4. Do a Background Check You may want to do a background check on your desired service provider. Did you find out if the cleaners are responsible and trustworthy? If you are going to work with the company, do your homework to make sure that the company performs background checks before hiring new employees. In the case of commercial cleaners, you may want to ask them to produce their license. In most cases, residential cleaners are not required to have a specific license to offer their services. 5. Define Your Agreement After you have hired a service provider, you may want to define the agreement. This document will provide details about their services, cost, number of rooms, items, and floors they will clean. Make sure that the agreement provides even tiny details. The idea is to make sure that you don't have a dispute with the service provider once the job is done. Long story short, we suggest that you try these steps if you want to hire the best house cleaner to cover your needs. 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If you plan to create it yourself, this will involve some basic computer skills and knowledge of a layout design program. Creating the program yourself is the most cost effective way to produce this keepsake. Commercial printing and layout can cost you hundreds of dollars verses a few dollars to do it yourself. To save time, a funeral memorial service program template is the best choice. These templates will cut the time it will take you to find the right design and background. All the creativity is already done for you, all you need to do is customize the wording and photos. This can take much less time than do create a program from an empty canvas. The goal is to produce a funeral memorial service program that captures the essence of your loved one in design and wording. Choose a design that fits his personality and the text for the program can include items such as an obituary, photos through the years, poems, scripture readings and order of service. Keep it Simple Oh no, a friend I know just died. My heart is on the floor. Tears sting my eyes. What can I do? What can I say? How can I help? The death of a friend or relative puts the brakes on to our busy world. We have an urgent need to "DO SOMETHING----ANYTHING!" We find ourselves wringing our hand, afraid we might cause more hurt. Not knowing how to show our love and concern, we may opt for doing nothing rather than "intruding on their grief." I'd like to share something important with you. Survivors tell me it helps so much to have others reach out to them. Most of them are very glad you cared enough to try. For over twenty one years, I listened to people share their hurts and frustrations as they journey through the mourning process. I volunteered with Fox Valley Hospice for five years and supported bereaved families as the Bereavement Care Director at Conley Funeral Home in Elburn, Illinois. I looked for ways to help them concretely express their grief. When I followed up on them at regular intervals in the year following the death, the bereaved told me the BEST thing a person can do for someone they care about is simply: BE THERE---period! You don't have to say or do a thing. Survivors tell me over and over how a hug or heartfelt handshake is remembered more than any words. Reliable Burial Ceremony in Riverside California Even though we know we don't really need to say anything, we still would feel more comfortable if we had a thought or two in our back pocket-just in case. From my reading and experience with "those who have been there" I compiled a list of helpful thoughts. You can also write words similar to these on a card going off in the mail. The thoughts are short and simple. Survivors have so much to think about that many times it is difficult for them to be aware of what is happening around them. It is best to keep comments brief. At the end Affordable Funeral Service in Riverside California of the article, there is a list of hints on what not to say. Survivors shared with me that hearing these things from those who came to comfort can actually cause more hurt and confusion. Helping people is one of the things life is all about. So go to your friend with confidence, knowing that your presence will bring comfort, even if your words are not remembered. WHAT TO SAY The best advice I ever received when trying to think of something to say when there really wasn't anything to say was, "Simply say what you are feeling." Try to put into words the pain and loss you are feeling your self rather than assuming what the other person is feeling. Let the survivor express his Trusted Evening Chapel in Riverside California thoughts and feelings to you first. This gives him a sense that you are really listening and trying to understand. After you listen you will have a better understanding of how to respond. The following suggestions can be put in your own words. o What a tragedy this is for you and your family. o I heard about what happened and just had to come o I hate it that this had to happen. o How terribly hard this must be for all of you. o I feel so bad about all the suffering (Name) had to go through. o I was just shocked when I heard the news. o I can't imagine what you are going through. o My heart hurts for all of you. o Tears came to my eyes when I read the obituary. o I feel just terrible about what happened. o What Professional Cremations service in Riverside California an awful loss to our community. o There's a big hole now in my life. o The world will never be the same without (Name). o (Name) had such a great smile, personality etc. I will really miss him/her. o I enjoyed working together with (Name). He always made the tasks easier, more fun etc. o (Name) had such a wonderful way of making everyone he met feel special. o I'm going to miss (Name) so much. o I remember when... (happy memory here) WHAT TO DO Nature provides a wonderful, natural "tool" to help the bereaved get through the first hours and days after the death of someone they love. It's called shock. When our friends are in shock, they find it difficult to think and feel. The day to day necessities of life are difficult to handle. When you are looking for ways to help your friend, be practical. The following list will need to be adapted according to the friendship you have established with the family. You will need to use your own thoughtful discernment regarding the appropriateness of these suggestions. WHEN YOU FIRST HEAR Determine whether the family would appreciate a call from you at this time or just a thoughtful little note tucked in their door saying how much the family is in your thoughts since you heard the news. In the note, you can offer several suggestions for helping the family out, such as: o Washing the cars inside and out. o Answering the phone. o Polishing shoes o Keeping track of children, driving them to lessons etc. o Gathering information, (flight plans etc.) o Picking up relatives from the airport o Grocery shopping or other errands o Caring for pets o Bringing over snacks and/or a meal o Staying at the home to receive gifts of food and/or flowers, recording who they are from. PREPARING FOR VISITATION GIFTS o Rather than sending cut flowers to the funeral home, why not send a plant that can be replanted outside to your friends' home? o Choose a picture frame, figurine or piece of jewelry in memory of the loved one to give to your friend. o Prisms that make rainbows throughout the room when the sun shines make a lasting gift of hope and beauty. o Monetary gifts made to the designated memorial funds are greatly appreciated. o Make up "quiet bags" for the young children. At visitations kids don't have much to do. They don't enjoy talking with relatives. You will be a hero to them and their parents if you provide a little relief. Buy a few inexpensive quiet toys for them to play with during those long hours. (Pad of paper and pencil, a small stuffed animal to hold for comfort, magnetic games or quiet contained puzzles, white boards. o Make a memory book of blank pages that friends and family can fill in for a valued keep-sake. Ask people you see at visitation or at the luncheon afterwards to write their thoughts and memories. Make a pretty cover for it or use a fun photograph. o Make a photo album of photos of you and your friend. Everyone appreciates photos of their loved ones. SERVICES TO OFFER o Offer to "house sit" during the visitation hours or the funeral where you can answer the phone and door. Keep good messages. o Offer to coordinate the luncheon. o Offer to clean up after the luncheon. o Offer to sit with small children during the funeral at the funeral. ATTENDING THE VISITATION o Attend the visitation and offer a warm handshake or a hug. o Bring a note with special memories and/or attributes of the person who died. o Don't be afraid to show your own tears. They show the survivors that you care too. Their loved one did not live in vain. THE FUNERAL OR MEMORIAL SERVICE o When you help out by taking food, be sure to put your name and phone number on the container. Better yet, send it in a disposable container. (When preparing food, it would be especially thoughtful to consider any of the survivors who may be on a special diet). Also when you prepare food, choose something that will be especially comforting to eat like a hot noodle or potato dish. o Offer to return food containers to their owners after the luncheon. o Offer to bring the paper and plastic products for the luncheon after the funeral. o Offer to bring more chairs if needed. WHAT NOT TO SAY When someone dies, the mourners are often confused and hurt. They are experiencing a variety of feelings which make them feel especially vulnerable. It is best to not offer any explanations about the death, assume how they are feeling or even encourage them to look on the bright side. Let them take the lead with these thoughts. What they want most is to be accepted and given the right to express their thoughts and concerns without judgment. In time mourners can usually see past insensitive remarks to the heart behind the words. If you have said any of the following in the past, forgive yourself, knowing that you did the best you could with the knowledge you had at the time. Your intentions came from a heart full of love. That's what really counts. Vow to never say them again. o It must have been his time. (most survivors are not ready to hear this yet-they are still wanting the person to be alive and with them) o She lived a good life. (this does not give the survivor the room to have different feelings) o It must have been God's will. (This comment can cause anger toward God, pointing the blame and causing the survivor to feel guilty for being angry at a loving God.) o If he wouldn't have been out that late, he would be alive right now. (This comment is blaming the victim and not bringing comfort to the survivors.) o She wouldn't want you to be so sad. (People hurt when someone dies because they loved him/her. It's natural and healthy to feel sad. None of us like to be told what or what not to feel.) o When a child dies please don't say, "You're young, you can have more children." (This comment minimizes the death. No child can ever take the place of another.) o I know just how you feel, my dog died last month. (Most parents will in no way relate to that.) o At least you have other children. (Again, there's a hole that no child can replace.) o It's probably for the best. (A survivor is so overwhelmed with feelings of grief, that his comment is usually misunderstood.) o God must have wanted a baby angel. (Parents cannot understand how God would want their child more than they do) o I know just how you feel. (Even though you may have had a similar experience, you are not this person. There are multiple factors influencing each individual circumstance and therefore you cannot know how someone else is feeling.) o Just keep looking for the positives. (A griever usually cannot be at this point in his mourning for many weeks following the death.) o You just sit there and let me take care of everything. (Making decisions is helpful in the recovery process of grief-let survivors make as many as they can.) NOTE: While giving someone valium may sound like a good idea at the time, the drug or one like it can dull feelings that will still need to be dealt with eventually. It is important to a person's well being that they are active participants with as sharp a mind as possible. DON'T SAY THE FOLLOWING TO CHILDREN o Look at how peacefully she is sleeping. (Children take most things literally and may have problems sleeping because they believe that they may die in their sleep.) o You must take care of your mom/dad now. (This is too much pressure on a child-they need to be themselves and mourn in their own way. No one else can take the place of another. A family needs to work together repairing the broken circle. In healthy grief, families need each other and support one another. o No, you shouldn't see (Name). It's better to remember them the way they were. (This may be true for some children, but for others they need to see for themselves that the person is really dead otherwise they may continually look for them to come home. o In the case of suicide, NEVER impose your beliefs or even suggest where their loved ones' soul has gone even if you share the same faith. Suicide is cruel. Support your friend as if he has a broken limb. Don't offer any opinions. SOME CONCLUDING REMARKS Unfortunately, grief does not go away in a few weeks. Survivors eventually learn to integrate their loss but find there are special times that trigger the sadness. Some of those times are predictable like holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries. The days surrounding the one year anniversary of the death can be especially difficult. Other times are not so predictable; the first signs of spring or the smell of fall or even seeing someone in a crowd that resembles the loved one can bring on an overwhelming sadness. Being aware of these times especially the first year and possibly the second can be good times for some special attention from you. A phone call, card, flowers or visit are greatly appreciated by the griever. If your friend is finding it hard to cope with daily activities and is experiencing extreme sleeping and eating patterns over a long period of time could mean that they could benefit from talking with a clergy person or professional counselor who understands the grieving process. Some people find that support groups like, Make Today Count, Survivors of Suicide or Compassionate Friends are especially helpful. May you go in peace and find that you are a better person because you took the time, energy and courage to reach out. Because it is considered to be such a memorable keepsake, it is important to have a program that presents the deceased best lived moments. Gathering the information and text for the program can be a daunting task so you may want to employ the assistance of a friend or family member. Producing the design for the funeral memorial service program is yet another piece of putting it all together. If you plan to create it yourself, this will involve some basic computer skills and knowledge of a layout design program. Creating the program yourself is the most cost effective way to produce this keepsake. Commercial printing and layout can cost you hundreds of dollars verses a few dollars to do it yourself. To save time, a funeral memorial service program template is the best choice. These templates will cut the time it will take you to find the right design and background. All the creativity is already done for you, all you need to do is customize the wording and photos. This can take much less time than do create a program from an empty canvas. The goal is to produce a funeral memorial service program that captures the essence of your loved one in design and wording. Choose a design that fits his personality and the text for the program can include items such as an obituary, photos through the years, poems, scripture readings and order of service. Keep it Simple Oh no, a friend I know just died. My heart is on the floor. Tears sting my eyes. What can I do? What can I say? How can I help? The death of a friend or relative puts the brakes on to our busy world. We have an urgent need to "DO SOMETHING----ANYTHING!" We find ourselves wringing our hand, afraid we might cause more hurt. Not knowing how to show our love and concern, we may opt for doing nothing rather than "intruding on their grief." I'd like to share something important with you. Survivors tell me it helps so much to have others reach out to them. Most of them are very glad you cared enough to try. For over twenty one years, I listened to people share their hurts and frustrations as they journey through the mourning process. I volunteered with Fox Valley Hospice for five years and supported bereaved families as the Bereavement Care Director at Conley Funeral Home in Elburn, Illinois. I looked for ways to help them concretely express their grief. When I followed up on them at regular intervals in the year following the death, the bereaved told me the BEST thing a person can do for someone they care about is simply: BE THERE---period! You don't have to say or do a thing. Survivors tell me over and over how a hug or heartfelt handshake is remembered more than any words. Even though we know we don't really need to say anything, we still would feel more comfortable if we had a thought or two in our back pocket-just in case. From my reading and experience with "those who have been there" I compiled a list of helpful thoughts. You can also write words similar to these on a card going off in the mail. The thoughts are short and simple. Survivors have so much to think about that many times it is difficult for them to be aware of what is happening around them. It is best to keep comments brief. At the end of the article, there is a list of hints on what not to say. Survivors shared with me that hearing these things from those who came to comfort can actually cause more hurt and confusion. Helping people is one of the things life is all about. So go to your friend with confidence, knowing that your presence will bring comfort, even if your words are not remembered. WHAT TO SAY The best advice I ever received when trying to think of something to say when there really wasn't anything to say was, "Simply say what you are feeling." Try to put into words the pain and loss you are feeling your self rather than assuming what the other person is feeling. Let the survivor express his thoughts and feelings to you first. This gives him a sense that you are really listening and trying to understand. After you listen you will have a better understanding of how to respond. The following suggestions can be put in your own words. o What a tragedy this is for you and your family. o I heard about what happened and just had to come o I hate it that this had to happen. o Affordable Funeral Service in Riverside California How terribly hard this must be for all of you. o I feel so bad about all the suffering (Name) had to go through. o I was just shocked when I heard the news. o I can't imagine what you are going through. o My heart hurts for all of you. o Tears came to my eyes when I read the obituary. o I feel just terrible about what happened. o What an awful loss to our community. o There's a big hole now in my life. o The world will never be the same without (Name). o (Name) had such a great smile, personality etc. I will really miss him/her. o I enjoyed working together with (Name). He Professional Cremations service in Riverside California always made the tasks easier, more fun etc. o (Name) had such a wonderful way of making everyone he met feel special. o I'm going to miss (Name) so much. o I remember when... (happy memory here) WHAT TO DO Nature provides a wonderful, natural "tool" to help the bereaved get through the first hours and days after the death of someone they love. It's called shock. When our friends are in shock, they find it difficult to think and feel. The day to day necessities of life are difficult to handle. When you are looking for ways to help your friend, be practical. The following list will need to be adapted according to the friendship you have established with the family. You will need to use your own thoughtful discernment regarding the appropriateness of these suggestions. WHEN YOU FIRST HEAR Determine whether the family would appreciate a call from you at this time or just a thoughtful little note tucked in their door saying how much the family is in your thoughts since you heard the news. In the note, you can offer several suggestions for helping the family out, such as: o Washing the cars inside and out. o Answering the phone. o Polishing shoes o Keeping track of children, driving them to lessons etc. o Gathering information, (flight plans etc.) o Picking up relatives from the airport o Grocery shopping or other errands o Caring for pets o Bringing over snacks and/or a meal o Staying at the home to receive gifts of food and/or flowers, recording who they are from. PREPARING FOR VISITATION GIFTS o Rather than sending cut flowers to the funeral home, why not send a plant that can be replanted outside to your friends' home? o Choose a picture frame, figurine or piece of jewelry in memory of the loved one to give to your friend. o Prisms that make rainbows throughout the room when the sun shines make a lasting gift of hope and beauty. o Monetary gifts made to the designated memorial funds are greatly appreciated. o Make up "quiet bags" for the young children. At visitations kids don't have much to do. They don't enjoy talking with relatives. You will be a hero to them and their parents if you provide a little relief. Buy a few inexpensive quiet toys for them to play with during those long hours. (Pad of paper and pencil, a small stuffed animal to hold for comfort, magnetic games or quiet contained puzzles, white boards. o Make a memory book of blank pages that friends and family can fill in for a valued keep-sake. Ask people you see at visitation or at the luncheon afterwards to write their thoughts and memories. Make a pretty cover for it or use a fun photograph. o Make a photo album of photos of you and your friend. Everyone appreciates photos of their loved ones. SERVICES TO OFFER o Offer to "house sit" during the visitation hours or the funeral where you can answer the phone and door. Keep good messages. o Offer to coordinate the luncheon. o Offer to clean up after the luncheon. o Offer to sit with small children during the funeral at the funeral. ATTENDING THE VISITATION o Attend the visitation and offer a warm handshake or a hug. o Bring a note with special memories and/or attributes of the person who died. o Don't be afraid to show your own tears. They show the survivors that you care too. Their loved one did not live in vain. THE FUNERAL OR MEMORIAL SERVICE o When you help out by taking food, be sure to put your name and phone number on the container. Better yet, send it in a disposable container. (When preparing food, it would be especially thoughtful to consider any of the survivors who may be on a special diet). Also when you prepare food, choose something that will be especially comforting to eat like a hot noodle or potato dish. o Offer to return food containers to their owners after the luncheon. o Offer to bring the paper and plastic products for the luncheon after the funeral. o Offer to bring more chairs if needed. WHAT NOT TO SAY When someone dies, the mourners are often confused and hurt. They are experiencing a variety of feelings which make them feel especially vulnerable. It is best to not offer any explanations about the death, assume how they are feeling or even encourage them to look on the bright side. Let them take the lead with Trusted Evening Chapel in Riverside California these thoughts. What they want most is to be accepted and given the right to express their thoughts and concerns without judgment. In time mourners can usually see past insensitive remarks to the heart behind the words. If you have said any of the following in the past, forgive yourself, knowing that you did the best you could with the knowledge you had at the time. Your intentions came from a heart full of love. That's what really counts. Vow to never say them again. o It must have been his time. (most survivors are not ready to hear this yet-they are still wanting the person to be alive and with them) o She lived a good life. (this does not give the survivor the room to have different feelings) o It must have been God's will. (This comment can cause anger toward God, pointing the blame and causing the survivor to feel guilty for being angry at a loving God.) o If he wouldn't have been out that late, he would be alive right now. (This comment is blaming the victim and not bringing comfort to the survivors.) o She wouldn't want you to be so sad. (People hurt when someone dies because they loved him/her. It's natural and healthy to feel sad. None of us like to be told what or what not to feel.) o When a child dies please don't say, "You're young, you can have more children." (This comment minimizes the death. No child can ever take the place of another.) o I know just how you feel, my dog died last month. (Most parents will in no way relate to that.) o At least you have other children. (Again, there's a hole that no child can replace.) o It's probably for the best. (A survivor is so overwhelmed with feelings of grief, that his comment is usually misunderstood.) o God must have wanted a baby angel. (Parents cannot understand how God would want their child more than they do) o I know just how you feel. (Even though you may have had a similar experience, you are not this person. There are multiple factors influencing each individual circumstance and therefore you cannot know how someone else is feeling.) o Just keep looking for the positives. (A griever usually cannot be at this point in his mourning for many weeks following the death.) o You just sit there and let me take care of everything. (Making decisions is helpful in the recovery process of grief-let survivors make as many as they can.) NOTE: While giving someone valium may sound like a good idea at the time, the drug or one like it can dull feelings that will still need to be dealt with eventually. It is important to a person's well being that they are active participants with as sharp a mind as possible. DON'T SAY THE FOLLOWING TO CHILDREN o Look at how peacefully she is sleeping. (Children take most things literally and may have problems sleeping because they believe that they may die in their sleep.) o You must take care of your mom/dad now. (This is too much pressure on a child-they need to be themselves and mourn in their own way. No one else can Reliable Burial Ceremony in Riverside California take the place of another. A family needs to work together repairing the broken circle. In healthy grief, families need each other and support one another. o No, you shouldn't see (Name). It's better to remember them the way they were. (This may be true for some children, but for others they need to see for themselves that the person is really dead otherwise they may continually look for them to come home. o In the case of suicide, NEVER impose your beliefs or even suggest where their loved ones' soul has gone even if you share the same faith. Suicide is cruel. Support your friend as if he has a broken limb. Don't offer any opinions. SOME CONCLUDING REMARKS Unfortunately, grief does not go away in a few weeks. Survivors eventually learn to integrate their loss but find there are special times that trigger the sadness. Some of those times are predictable like holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries. The days surrounding the one year anniversary of the death can be especially difficult. Other times are not so predictable; the first signs of spring or the smell of fall or even seeing someone in a crowd that resembles the loved one can bring on an overwhelming sadness. Being aware of these times especially the first year and possibly the second can be good times for some special attention from you. A phone call, card, flowers or visit are greatly appreciated by the griever. If your friend is finding it hard to cope with daily activities and is experiencing extreme sleeping and eating patterns over a long period of time could mean that they could benefit from talking with a clergy person or professional counselor who understands the grieving process. Some people find that support groups like, Make Today Count, Survivors of Suicide or Compassionate Friends are especially helpful. May you go in peace and find that you are a better person because you took the time, energy and courage to reach out. Because it is considered to http://www.thefreedictionary.com/Funeral Service be such a memorable keepsake, it is important to have a program that presents the deceased best lived moments. Gathering the information and text for the program can be a daunting task so you may want to employ the assistance of a friend or family member. Producing the design for the funeral memorial service program is yet another piece of putting it all together. If you plan to create it yourself, this will involve some basic computer skills and knowledge of a layout design program. Creating the program yourself is the most cost effective way to produce this keepsake. Commercial printing and layout can cost you hundreds of dollars verses a few dollars to do it yourself. To save time, a funeral memorial service program template is the best choice. These templates will cut the time it will take you to find the right design and background. All the creativity is already done for you, all you need to do is customize the wording and photos. This can take much less time than do create a program from an empty canvas. The goal is to produce a funeral memorial service program that captures the essence of your loved one in design and wording. Choose a design that fits his personality and the text for the program can include items such as an obituary, photos through the years, poems, scripture readings and order of service. Keep it Simple Oh no, a friend I know just died. My heart is on the floor. Tears sting my eyes. What can I do? What can I say? How can I help? The death of a friend or relative puts the brakes on to our busy world. We have Trusted Evening Chapel in Riverside California an urgent need to "DO SOMETHING----ANYTHING!" We find ourselves wringing our hand, afraid we might cause more hurt. Not knowing how to show our love and concern, we may opt for doing nothing rather than "intruding on their grief." I'd like to share something important with you. Survivors tell me it helps so much to have others reach out to them. Most of them are very glad you cared enough to try. For over twenty one years, I listened to people share their hurts and frustrations as they journey through the mourning process. I volunteered with Fox Valley Hospice for five years and supported bereaved families as the Bereavement Care Director at Conley Funeral Home in Elburn, Illinois. I looked for ways to help them concretely express their grief. When I followed up on them at regular intervals in the year following the death, the bereaved told me the BEST thing a person can do for someone they care about is simply: BE THERE---period! You don't have to say or do a thing. Survivors tell me over and over how a hug or heartfelt handshake is remembered more than any words. Even though we know we don't really need to say anything, we still would https://www.usbusinessonline.com/about feel more comfortable if we had a thought or two in our back pocket-just in case. From my reading and experience with "those who have been there" I compiled a list of helpful thoughts. You can also write words similar to these on a card going off in the mail. The thoughts are short and simple. Survivors have so much to think about that many times it is difficult for them to be aware of what is happening around them. It is best to keep comments brief. At the end of the article, there is a list of hints on what not to say. Survivors shared with me that hearing these things from those who came to comfort can actually cause more hurt and confusion. Helping people is one of the things life is all about. So go to your friend with confidence, knowing that your presence will bring comfort, even if your words are not remembered. WHAT TO SAY The best advice I ever received when trying to think of something to say when there really wasn't anything to say was, "Simply say what you are feeling." Try to put into words the pain and loss you are feeling your self rather than assuming what the other person is feeling. Let the survivor express his thoughts and feelings to you first. This gives him a sense that you are really listening and trying to understand. After you listen you will have a better understanding of how to respond. The following suggestions can be put in Reliable Burial Ceremony in Riverside California your own words. o What a tragedy this is for you and your family. o I heard about what happened and just had to come o I hate it that this had to happen. o How terribly hard this must be for all of you. o I feel so bad about all the suffering (Name) had to go through. o I was just shocked when I heard the news. o I can't imagine what you are going through. o My heart hurts for all of you. o Tears came to my eyes when I read the obituary. o I feel just terrible about what happened. o What an awful loss to our community. o There's a big hole now in my life. o The world will never be the same without (Name). o (Name) had such a great smile, personality etc. I will really miss him/her. o I enjoyed working together with (Name). He always made the tasks easier, more fun etc. o (Name) had such a wonderful way of making everyone he met feel special. o I'm going to miss (Name) so much. o I remember when... (happy memory here) WHAT TO DO Nature provides a wonderful, natural "tool" to help the bereaved get through the first hours and days after the death of someone they love. It's called shock. When our friends are in shock, they find it difficult to think and feel. The day to day necessities of life are difficult to handle. When you are looking for ways to help your friend, be practical. The following list will need to be adapted according to the friendship you have established with the family. You will need to use your own thoughtful discernment regarding the appropriateness of these suggestions. WHEN YOU FIRST HEAR Determine whether the family would appreciate a call from you at this time or just a thoughtful little note tucked in their door saying how much the family is in your thoughts since you heard the news. In the note, you can offer several suggestions for helping the family out, such as: o Washing the cars inside and out. o Answering the phone. o Polishing shoes o Keeping track of children, driving them to lessons etc. o Gathering information, (flight plans etc.) o Picking up relatives from the airport o Grocery shopping or other errands o Caring for pets o Funeral Services & Cemeteries Bringing over snacks and/or a meal o Staying at the home to receive gifts of food and/or flowers, recording who they are from. PREPARING FOR VISITATION GIFTS o Rather than sending cut flowers to the funeral home, why not send a plant that can be replanted outside to your friends' home? o Choose a picture frame, figurine or piece of jewelry in memory of the loved one to give to your friend. o Prisms that make rainbows throughout the room when Affordable Funeral Service in Riverside California the sun shines make a lasting gift of hope and beauty. o Monetary gifts made to the designated memorial funds are greatly appreciated. o Make up "quiet bags" for the young children. At visitations kids don't have much to do. They don't enjoy talking with relatives. You will be a hero to them and their parents if you provide a little relief. Buy a few inexpensive quiet toys for them to play with during those long hours. (Pad of paper and pencil, a small stuffed animal to hold for comfort, magnetic games or quiet contained puzzles, white boards. o Make a memory book of blank pages that friends and family can fill in for a valued keep-sake. Ask people you see at visitation or at the luncheon afterwards to write their thoughts and memories. Make a pretty cover for it or use a fun photograph. o Make a photo album of photos of you and your friend. Everyone appreciates photos of their loved ones. SERVICES TO OFFER o Offer to "house sit" during the visitation hours or the funeral where you can answer the phone and door. Keep good messages. o Offer to coordinate the luncheon. o Offer to clean up after the luncheon. o Offer to sit with small children during the funeral at the funeral. ATTENDING THE VISITATION o Attend the visitation and offer a warm handshake or a hug. o Bring a note with special memories and/or attributes of the person who died. o Don't be afraid to show your own tears. They show the survivors that you care too. Their loved one did not live in vain. THE FUNERAL OR MEMORIAL SERVICE o When you help out by taking food, be sure to put your name and phone number on the container. Better yet, send it in a disposable container. (When preparing food, it would be especially thoughtful to consider any of the survivors who may be on a special diet). Also when you prepare food, choose something that will be especially comforting to eat like a hot noodle or potato dish. o Offer to return food containers to their owners after the luncheon. o Offer to bring the paper and plastic products for the luncheon after the funeral. o Offer to bring more chairs if needed. WHAT NOT TO SAY When someone dies, the mourners are often confused and hurt. They are experiencing a variety of feelings which make them feel especially vulnerable. It is best to not offer any explanations about the death, assume how they are feeling or even encourage them to look on the bright side. Let them take the lead with these thoughts. What they want most is to be accepted and given the right to express their thoughts and concerns without judgment. In time mourners can usually see past insensitive remarks to the heart behind the words. If you have said any of the following in the past, forgive yourself, knowing that you did the best you could with the knowledge you had at the time. Your intentions came from a heart full of love. That's what really counts. Vow to never say them again. o It must have been his time. (most survivors are not ready to hear this yet-they are still wanting the person to be alive and with them) o She lived a good life. (this does not give the survivor the room to have different feelings) o It must have been God's will. (This comment can cause anger toward God, pointing the blame and causing the survivor to feel guilty for being angry at a loving God.) o If he wouldn't have been out that late, he would be alive right now. (This comment is blaming the victim and not bringing comfort to the survivors.) o She wouldn't want you to be so sad. (People hurt when someone dies because they loved him/her. It's natural and healthy to feel sad. None of us like to be told what or what not to feel.) o When a child dies please don't say, "You're young, you can have more children." (This comment minimizes the death. No child can ever take the place of another.) o I know just how you feel, my dog died last month. (Most parents will in no way relate to that.) o At least you have other children. (Again, there's a hole that no child can replace.) o It's probably for the best. (A survivor is so overwhelmed with feelings of grief, that his comment is usually misunderstood.) o God must have wanted a baby angel. (Parents cannot understand how God would want their child more than they do) o I know just how you feel. (Even though you may have had a similar experience, you are not this person. There are multiple factors influencing each individual circumstance and therefore you cannot know how someone else is feeling.) o Just keep looking for the positives. (A griever usually cannot be at this point in his mourning for many weeks following the death.) o You just sit there and let me take care of everything. (Making decisions is helpful in the recovery process of grief-let survivors make as many as they can.) NOTE: While giving someone valium may sound like a good idea at the time, the drug or one like it can dull feelings that will still need to be dealt with eventually. It is important to a person's well being that they are active participants with as sharp a mind as possible. DON'T SAY THE FOLLOWING TO CHILDREN o Look at how peacefully she is sleeping. (Children take most things literally and may have problems sleeping because they believe that they may die in their sleep.) o You must take care of your mom/dad now. (This is too much pressure on a child-they need to be themselves and mourn in their own way. No one else can take the place of another. A family needs to work together repairing the broken circle. In healthy grief, families need each other and support one another. o No, you shouldn't see (Name). It's better to remember them the way they were. (This may be true for some children, but for others they need to see for themselves that the person is really dead otherwise they may continually look for them to come home. o In the case of suicide, NEVER impose your beliefs or even suggest where their loved ones' soul has gone even if you share the same faith. Suicide is cruel. Support your friend as if he has a broken limb. Don't offer any opinions. SOME CONCLUDING REMARKS Unfortunately, grief does not go away in a few weeks. Survivors eventually learn to integrate their loss but find there are special times that trigger the sadness. Some of those times are predictable like holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries. The days surrounding the one year anniversary of the death can be especially difficult. Other times are not so predictable; the first signs of spring or the smell of fall or even seeing someone in a crowd that resembles the loved one can bring on an overwhelming sadness. Being aware of these times especially the first year and possibly the second can be good times for some special attention from you. A phone call, card, flowers or visit are greatly appreciated by the griever. If your friend is finding it hard to cope with daily activities and is experiencing extreme sleeping and eating patterns over a long period of time could mean that they could benefit from talking with a clergy person or professional counselor who understands the grieving process. Some people find that support groups like, Make Today Count, Survivors of Suicide or Compassionate Friends are especially helpful. May you go in peace and find that you are a better person because you took the time, energy and courage to reach out. |
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